WhereI'mSupposedtoBe.

WhereI'mSupposedtoBe.

I'm sitting in my sweats + a hoodie .

At thee computer .

Skullcandies in .

Listening to Versis's Spitting in the Wind .

The bass carrying me away .

Slight violin making me realize .

I get back tht determination whn I got smthng to vibe to .

Only wishing I could create smthng as beautiful .

To make smone feel as gud as I do .

I was scared at one pt tht I didn't wnt this enough .

How could I make this into smthng tht could take care of me .

But in reality , it always has + always will .

It's always been a part of me .

It is wht sets me free .

This is where I'm supposed to be .

Mmkay .

I'm done spitting . lls *

Funny , how hot tht is + I didnt' even write it dwn first .

So unexpectd .

Amazing how wht comes from thee heart sounds so gud .

But l8ly .

I been tryna get myself back .

I finally thnk I got thee solution .

Scratch tht .

I been had thee solution .

Just hadn't been using it .

I cnt disguise thee fact tht I was born to let thee world hear my music .

+ I cnt disguise the fact tht if I dnt create music for a living , my heart wont be complete .

Today is thee first day in a long time , tht I felt like me .

Man .

Did it feel gud .

* I'd like to thank Full Crate, FS Green, Versis, Mar + other artists tht have contributed to my little " SOUL SEARCH " today .

IAmTrulyanUngratefulSoul .

IAmTrulyanUngratefulSoul .

Super-cute . + futuristic . Looks like smthng off of The Jetsons . lls *

Pricetag ; $ 110.00 *

* at UO .

Mixtape .

Mixtape .

I'm downloading a mixtape .
Idk how it's gnna sound .
I just needed an upgrade whn it comes to my iPod .
+ I suddenly realized I neglect my diary , because of blogspot .
Tht is kinda sucky .
Excuse me I digress .
But I dnt evn knw hw I write half thee blogs tht I do .
My mind is almost incapable of staying on one subjct .
I thnk I'll just say everythng I'm thnking about .
This is a first .
Probably a last .
Because I knw it's a lot .

Setting up my digital camera , my boyfriend , my U.S. History prjct , college , stupid ppl , wht I want to be + become , why I sometimes stress over thngs I cnt cntrl , how wht I dnt knw scares thee living shidd outta me , psychology + how I wish so badly I could figure ppl out , wht's going on widd me + my mom , how I wish thngs were simple , how I miss being little , wht happened to my happiness widd myself , wht happened to my determination , why I get drained so easily by thngs tht used to nt bother me , how excited I am about going natural , how I just wnna be loved , why I dnt feel like I give my all nemore , how I hope tht thee thngs I have done haven't messed myself up in my future , how much I wnna let go of certain thngs + just be rid of thm for good , but I cnt , why I complain sometimes , how much I wnt some pullover sweaters, flannels, + a nixon the newton watch , have I chngd permanently + is this is who I really am nw , how I'm just nt sure , why I second guess myself + thn mess up , because I second guessed myself , why I care about ppls feelings , how my family is going through hard times , I thnk my heart has up a wall , + I cnt get nethng out or put nethng in , my father , wht my boyfriend really thnks of me deep dwn inside , where he wnts our relationship to go or become of , how good this feels to say exactly wht I wnt , how cold I am , literally , where I'll be in 5 or 10 yrs , wht will I def major in , in college , how I'm gnna pay for college , why I'm being so slack about college , why everyone is excited about it but me , how I dnt wnna grow up as fast as I am , how I wnna press rewind + cherish thee moments I dnt thnk I cherished enough , + how I'm stopping this list rite nw .

Btw , I dnt even knw where thee mixtape is saved to on my computer .
Have a way better day thn I am ppl .
I need some UO *

AllesWatIkWil.

AllesWatIkWil.

Jij bent alles wat ik wil

M´n schatje liefje mi habibi

Ja je man is real

Over gevoelens dushi gudu

Voel hoe veel je t´aime

Ewa zina let´s ride tonight

Dan gaan we op en neer s´ochtends weer

Morgen weer een dag voor jou en mij

Y O U ' R E A L L I W A N T .

X XXII .

SomethingNew .

SomethingNew .

I don't have thee slightest idea of how I come arcoss to you .

+ there is so much I want to share with you , but I find myself stuck when it comes to putting it in the right words .

As I've told you before , writing is my strong point .

I feel like that's one of the best ways I can let you know how I feel .

So here it is , just as I said it would be .

I want you to know that , I no longer want to be a part of my past relationships anymore .

I just simply don't want it .

I know that because , I'm no longer sore about anything .

The pain is gone .

+ I just want to start over .

+ to be honest , I would really love to do that with you .

I'm not looking , for anything too complex or too simple .

Because it's a busy time in both of our lives + I know you've got a lot going on for you .

+ I know how important those things are to you .

I must say that is one of thee things I really like about you .

Your determined + you want nothing in your way .

That being said , I want you to know how much I support you .

+ how much I wanna be there for you .

I swear you have no idea , how I really feel about you .

I don't know if this is too much , too soon .

So when I feel like it's thee right time .

I'll ask you to read it or I'll tell you .

+ I know you've been in a relationship in which you really cared about thee person .

As have I .

+ I want you to know that I'm not trying to be her , because I know I can't + will never be .

I don't want to put words in your mouth or be quick to assume .

So correct me if I'm wrong .

But from what you've said , I know you ask yourself what could've happened .

+ honestly , I have no problem with that .

Because , I know thee feeling .

However , I must admit it makes me a little scared .

Just because , I don't want to lose you .

But , if you felt like that is what would make you happy , I can't + won't stand in thee way of that .

+ I know you have to build trust .

But if somethings on your mind , I want you to be able to come to me if you need me .

I don't want you to be afraid of me .

I remember telling you , " I want to build something with you , even if you don't feel thee same way . I want to build something with you . "

I still feel that way .

But like I said , I have no idea where I lie with you .

Or how I come across to you .

Basically , I want you to tell me exactly how you feel about me .

So I don't have to wonder .